


Wander to the End of Time

by Davidsonofinga



Category: 30 H's, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, My Immortal, thirty h's
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-11-18 16:03:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11294034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davidsonofinga/pseuds/Davidsonofinga
Summary: My Immortal meets Thirty H's in this insane tale of sex, violence torture, guns, emo concerts, wrist-cutting, bisexuality, fishnets, groinsaws, demonic astronauts, unholy guitars, and much, much more.





	1. Ivary

My name’s Ivary Xanadu Steele. 

Before we get started, let me tell you about my appearance (AN: visual purposes only). I have Short-ish black hair with purple streaks that reach to my lower neck. I also have ruby-red eyes like fireballs. I’m a half-blood student at Hogwarts in Scotland; at that school, I’m a 6th-year. I’m a goth-emo, and wear a lot of black. My favorite stores are Hot Topic and Ipso Facto, both where I do a lot of my clothes shopping.

Today, I have on a black Type O Negative tee, a black denim miniskirt, black-and-white thigh socks with matching fingerless elbow gloves, and black combat boots. I also have on black lipstick and eyeliner.

…Now that that’s out of the way, I’m strolling around Hogwarts, where at the moment, It’s gloomy out. I was surprisingly happy about it, as it wasn’t hot out, but at the same time, it wasn’t freezing out either. Some girl is staring at me. She looks a lot like me, but has longer, straighter hair, a lacy black corset in place of a shirt, and pink fishnets, as opposed to my thigh socks.

I greet her with a sociable “Hey.” It’s all fine and dandy until she opens her mouth.

“Hi my nam iz Enoby Dark’Ness Dementia Raven Way an I’m a goff an a vampir an I liek slittng my ristz n listening 2 GC an MCR”

“Urmmm…okay?” I responded, “…Anyway, my name’s Ivary. I’m also a goth. I’m surprised we haven’t met before.” Unfortunately, Enoby didn’t respond, for she was looking in a different direction, drooling. “Who’re you looking at?” I asked, puzzled. “Onlty da Hotest bisexual gof boy in da worldm,” sneered Enoby. I took notice. I couldn’t believe my eyes. 

It was Malfoy. Draco. Malfoy.

“Wassup Darko?!” exclaimed Enoby as she approached that Malfoy kid.

“Oh, making the other dorms miserable as always, my goffik princess,” sneered Draco, expelliarmus-ing some poor Hufflepuff schmuck. Just then, Enoby heard someone calling and walked away. Draco took notice. “HEY!” he snapped, “GET BACK HERE I’M NOT DONE YET!!” He then pointed his wand at her and attempted to pull a spell on her.

“Petrificus Ma-“

“Expelliarmus,” I interjected, pointing one of my two wands at him. His wand flew out of his hand. Draco looked at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train. He hesitantly picked his wand back up and ran, panicking. Like a coward. I suspected that one 5th-year every student outside of Slytherin feared and/or loathed was a coward, but this incident confirmed it.


	2. Enoby Encounter

That evening I felt tired and went to bed early.

Upon waking the next morning, I stretched, then opened a curtain. Still gloomy, but now it’s snowing. I closed the curtain, took off my XL (I’m a size-L) Alien Sex Fiend tee, and put on a Nightwish tee, leather miniskirt, pentagram necklace, knee-length stiletto boots, & pink-and-black striped thigh socks. I then scratched/hand-combed my hair profusely.

As I left my bedroom, sipping QUIK from one of those plastic bottles, I stumbled into Enoby, who flipped her long-ass hair “sexily.” I don’t really care what she had on, but let me just say this: It was skimpy, had lots of black and red, and was loaded with fishnets. She then began to speak. 

“OMFS,” declared Enoby, “Did u sea me taklin 2 Darko yestrerday?” “Sorta,” I replied, “Did you see him run when I expelliarmus’d him?” Enoby’s jaw dropped. “No he fuckin didnt” denied a shocked Enoby. “He did,” I smirked, “Right as he was about to paralyze you as you walked off.” “No he fuckin wouldnyt do that!” snapped Enoby, “An shut up u fukin prep!” “I like where this is going,” said a smug voice. It was Draco. No surprise there.

“Yo,” greeted Draco, approaching Enoby. “Guess what,” he smirked, not even giving her a chance to speak. “What?!” asked an excited Enoby. “Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade,” said Draco, “Would you like to come?” Enoby gasped. I stepped back, knowing what she’d do next. “Oh. Mai. Fukin. SATAN!!!” she screamed, “Their liek, mai favotier band, besides MCR”


	3. Prelude to a Duel

That night, I grabbed my best Yugioh deck. I was going to duel people at a Yugioh tournament at Katmere’s (a hobby shop in Hogsmeade). I changed from the stilettos to my combat boots (they’re easier to move in), then messed my hair up a tad. I got bored and read an entire Berserk tankobon. As I did this, I listened to some Nile on my MP3 player. After that, I drank some blood, then left for Hogsmeade.

==LATER==

As I cruised through Hogsmeade, I saw a flying black car park. Out stepped Draco and Enoby. Draco was dressed more skater-stoner-y than usual. Enoby was dressed as she always was, fishnets and everything. They smelt of cigarettes and weed. The two ran off to the Good Charlotte concert not too far off from Katmere’s. I went in for the Yugioh tournament.

One long tournament later, I… did not make it to the final round. The gal I lost to did, though. Just then, I felt bored, so I got up, drank some butterbeer, and left just after the winner was announced. I hopped on my flying ATV, then rode off to the Forbidden Forest. Aragog’d be happy to see me.

Normal students would not even be allowed to enter the Forbidden Forest. But I wasn’t just any student. I excelled in Care of Magical Creatures, so Hagrid let me help him out at that on afterhours. Speaking of which, I still remember when Draco got mauled by that hippogriff. Funny shit… unless you liked the guy. Which most of Slytherin did… except me. And a few others. And Harry. more on him later.

As I cruised mellowly through the woods, I noticed moaning. Not normal moaning, though. It was more among the lines of a screech. A very passionate screech, at that. I got off my ATV, only to curiously move towards the sound. Unfortunately, what I saw disturbed me greatly.

It was Enoby and Draco, having sex utterly naked. “Oh! Oh! Oh!” screamed Enoby, getting an orgasm from what I could tell. The two started to kiss each other all over the place. Suddenly…

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!”

It was……………….. Dumbledore.


	4. Forbidden Forest Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ludacris fools get busted.

I sighed in relief. Dumbledore seemed to calm down upon seeing me as well. “Glad you’re here, Ivary,” said Dumbledore, almost cheerfully, before glaring at Enoby. “Listen, I need to get my ride real quick,” I stated. “Sure, go ahead,” said Dumbledore, as I walked back to my ATV, mounted it, and went back to the scene of the… act, “I really could use some muscle for this. …Harry wasn’t available.”

Dumbledore made Enoby and Draco follow him. He got a headache, and began angrily shouting. “YOU LUDACRIS FOOLS!!” he exclaimed. Enoby began to cry tears of blood. Draco attempted to comfort her. ATTEMPTED. I cringed. I hated the sound of crying since I was little. Sensory issue; nothing personal. 

When the four of us got back to the castle, Dumbledore took the lovebirds to professors Snape and McGonagall. The latter looked livid. The former looked as he always did: bored and cranky. “THEY WERE HAVING SEX IN THE FORBIDDEN FOREST!” yelled Dumbledore as he pointed at Enoby and Draco. “Why would you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?!” demanded Professor McGonagall. Suddenly, Draco shrieked.

“BECAUSE I LOVE HER!!!”

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore grabbed his head in agony. “Now if you excuse me, I’m off to my moonbase!” he declared, before running off to the Gryffindor towers. Then, Snape spoke. “You hormonal teenagers disgust me,” he said, “I will deduct 100 points from Slytherin. You two go down to your rooms. Ivary, stay here.” Draco and Enoby left. McGonagall glared at them. Snape cracked a smile. “For catching those numbnuts I’ll give 30 points to Slytherin,” he remarked, “Now go to your room. …Or Dumbledore’s moonbase. Whatever; just go.”

I walked down to my room in the girls’ dorm. Draco was singing “I just wanna live” by Good Charlotte right outside of it. I flinched. Then I went to bed, exhausted. 

 

Meanwhile, in the moonbase that wasn’t on a moon, Harry rocked the fuck out as meteors flew around Hogwarts.


End file.
